*Mom's Anniversary*

December 5th was the one year anniversary of my Mom's passing.  Interestingly enough, the two night's before I had a dream about her.  I was able to hug her in the dream, hold her, cry and and talk to her for a little bit, telling her I loved and missed her so much.  She was trying to be strong but I saw how much it was breaking her up to see me this way.  She said she had to go and that it was her time.   I didn't want to argue with her although so many of us believe something so very different.  And then it was over.  I'm sure this was her way of letting me know she was ok but I just can't help but feel a part of me will forever be missing.  That's what made that Monday the 5th, so special, that my friends have continued this past year to help fill that void, and I'm so appreciative of all of them.

Drinking Palmina Wine from the last trip to Solvang the family made with Mom!  Thankful for the wonderful
gals in this photo and everyone who stopped by that day, reached out, has checked in throughout the year, and
more.  I couldn't be as strong as I've been without your support and love.  My Mom is smiling down on the fact
I have such wonderful friends and family.  She'd really be proud <3

I set up the day with a morning walk, and then relaxing, food, Champagne & wine, cheese, dessert, movies, my girlfriends, and memories of Mom.  A special thank you to Kristina (all that amazing wine & Champs), Emily, Giana, Carolyn, Rachel, Lauren, Courtney, Fern, and Kenni whom stopped by, brought flowers, special gifts, Wisconsin cheese, wine, or hung out (thanks to my Improv crew for excusing me for the day), and to Nick for the beautiful flowers and thoughts from Wisconsin, my family for their special tribute, and all of my friends that said prayers, sent texts, messages, and more.  They were so greatly appreciated.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Beautiful flowers from Rachel, Nick & Giana :)

It was truly the best day it could have been, barring the circumstances and I'm so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.  I read the Eulogy I read at my Mom's funeral; it was the first time I had read it since the funeral, and there was not a dry eye in the room.  We shared funny stories about my Mom, and just had a girl's day, the way Mom would have wanted it to be.  Even if she would have taken a nap in the early evening before the movie started.  We closed out the night with 'Pretty Woman,' one of my Mom's favorites and before I knew it, the day was over, and it was just another day in December.

Mom...the hugs, phone conversations, love, funny jokes, memories or thoughts never cease to exist, and I wish I could have a million more shared with you.  I'm actually surprised I've been able to go on at all because this was the most difficult thing I've ever gone through, and I know I'm only able to because of the strength and compassion you have instilled in me.  I end this blog with a quote I posted to my Pinterest.  "For the rest of my life, I will search for moments full of you."  It's amazing how I feel your prescence and all of a sudden you're there, and then you're gone; but I will forever live for those moments knowing you're walking beside me, except when it's too hard for me to walk, you will be the one carrying me, and that set of footprints will become one <3

We miss you every day, Mommy!

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my Mommy you'll be.