Love.

I love Love.  I love being In Love.  What I don't love...Valentine's Day.  For as long as I can remember, it's always brought feelings of anxiety, frustration, confusion, and sadness.  It started in elementary school and has continued throughout my entire life.  In fact, my parents still send me flowers, candy, or cookies on Valentine's Day to show me, no matter what, I always have them.  I greatly appreciate their love and support and do look forward to a day when that can be shared with someone else as well!

As a child, you have no expectations of Valentine's Day, and just look forward to the candy and Valentine's Day cards.  Unfortunately, for me that wasn't always the case.  Some kids would buy Candy Grams for every other person in the class but me, some of these kids were even my friends, and would explain that they wanted to fit in, and this way, maybe they could get me into the 'popular crowd' if they just followed along.  Let's be honest, that never worked, and is a load of bs.  As I grew up, and went to High School, where I never even had a date for a Homecoming or Prom, and then went to College, where my first real boyfriend and what I thought at the time, was the love of my life, and I broke up on Valentine's Day, it really wasn't getting any better.  I'm not innocent either; because of the past, this day scares the crap out of me and I let my emotions get the best of me and have doomed the day, and because of my own insecurities, even ruined it.  But by this point, you do have expectations, you hear stories from your friends and family, and although I had high hopes, it was just never in the cards for me.

I can't completely deny that EVERY Valentine's Day was terrible because I remember my older crush in High School taking me home on Valentine's Day one year, and I still have the stuffed animal and Love Letter my later College Boyfriend gave me, but over 90% of my Valentine's Days have been sub par or even crappier.

So what's so special about Valentine's Day?  Nothing.  It's just a day that Hallmark assigned to be a day to tell someone you love or care about them, a day to plan a special date, or do something different and romantic, or express feelings you haven't yet said.

Here's my question...why does anyone need a specific day to do those things?!  I do those things every day when I'm in a relationship.  I'm honest and open about my feelings, love planning dates and doing something fun, love taking care of someone, and just spending time with the person you care about.  I don't need it to be February 14th to do any of those things.  I think as we all get older, we do hope that our Prince Charming will one day surprise us and sweep us off our feet, making all those other Valentine's Days non-existent.  Here's the thing, it doesn't take a fancy or outlandish dinner, a crazy romantic date, an expensive gift, or even a proposal.  Kind words, a thoughtful idea, and compassion and love go so much further.

I refuse to be jaded by this day and even though the majority of my thoughts about Valentine's Day are negative, I do hope that I can find someone who will one day, change my perspective and idea about this day, because to him, he just wants to see me happy.  And being with the one you love, is just that.  Love is enough :)