When I got home from my double auditions on Thursday I saw that I had an Audition on Friday for a Feature Film! I was really excited because it would be a different role for me and challenging. I'd be playing a girl who wants to win a contest to shoot a rock music video in Hawaii. She's an alluring rocker girl with underlying girl next door qualities but throughout the film starts to develop delusions and becomes manic. I was stoked!
After confirming the Audition for Friday afternoon, I checked for sides and saw there were 15 pages, so I knew I needed to get started on them. There were a bunch of different scenes with a different tone to each of them, so I knew I would be able to show range with it. I started right away with my back story and intentions. Then throughout the night I looked them over, preparing and working through each scene. By Friday morning I felt pretty comfortable with them and put them aside until my Audition in the afternoon.
I got to Catz Studios and signed in right on time. There were 2 people before me so I took the time to just re-read the scenes and relax until I was called in. Because 'Kiva' was a rockstar, they preferred someone with singing ability and wanted everyone to sing a rock song. I decided on Toto's 'Hold The Line' because it's got great range and it's a fun rock song. When she called me in, she said she loved my look, I had the whole rocker thing going (black shiny 'leather' pants, black rocker tank top, silver heels, and big jewelry). It's always a sigh of relief if they like what you're wearing because that's half the battle to be the right look for the part. We did the singing part outside and filmed it music video style. I sang one verse and the chorus, and she loved it, saying I was the only one to sing a rock song, and she loved that I had the husky raspy rocker voice. We also talked about my Hosting Karaoke which was a plus!
After the singing part we went in to do the scenes. The first one is where Kiva is daydreaming about playing her music to all of her fans, signing autographs, hearing the crowd cheer for her, and then realizes she's in her room, all alone, and still a nobody. So I bounced around the room, thanking my audience, blowing kisses, etc, and then let the fact that I was all alone settle in and showed my disappointment and fear that I might not make it (the fear of every performer). The second scene was a one-sided phone conversation I was having trying to get the guy who was running the contest on the phone because I truly believed I had already won, I was waiting for someone to pick me up to shoot the video, and I was already a star. As the scene goes on she gets more and more impatient, frustrated, flustered, and eventually starts getting upset, tearing up and crying. I did the scene pacing the room, the excitement in my voice, slowly disappearing building to frustration and anger for wanting to speak to the contest director and not his assistants, then to tears for the fact that I can't get through, and the next thing I knew I was shaking, tears streaming down my cheeks and I just went with it, and had a full-blown meltdown in the middle of the room.
She called scene and I stood up, wiping the tears from my eyes, trying to pull myself together. It's always that awkward moment after because you're hoping the director liked what she saw. I apologized because I was still wiping away tears and she said no, I did exactly what she wanted, I got there, and it worked. It felt very organic to me because I can't even remember what I did, just that I felt this immense hurt for wanting something so badly, and not knowing if I'll ever get the chance. She then asked if my contact number was up to date, mentioning that call-backs were in June, and they were shooting in August, and was I available. I said yes, and she mentioned yet again how much she liked my outfit, that I looked perfect for the role, said my singing was great, and I was what they were looking for in the scene. I thanked them and then left, feeling really good about everything.
I had so much adrenaline running through me after the audition I had called my Mom and don't even remember my conversation with her because I think the whole thing just ran together but was bits and pieces of what happened. At this point I can be happy that it all felt very natural and real and hope that I'm what they could be looking for, and will hopefully get a call-back. Other than that, I need to let it go and not think about it, as hard as that is. And I think I want to tape the audition scene myself to use for my reel because it was a very fun scene to do...even through tears.
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