It's the first day of February already! We're already a month into 2012 and I'm feeling really good about this new year. I've booked an acting job, taken a more active practice in my mind and body with Yoga, and worked on my communication skills as well as making creativity a part of every day!
I hated Valentine's Day and the weeks leading up to it for years, and I still strongly dislike it, even when I'm in a relationship, because I fear the worst of that particular day. I'm opening up today about why I've hated it for so long. In grade school, we did Valentine's Day Candy Grams, and handed out Valentine's Day Cards. Every year I would get so excited to pick out my design and hand write each and every one for all my classmates, and when it came to the Candy Grams, I would buy one for each classmate or for a couple of my close friends. I always brought Valentine's Day candy for everyone! My Mom had always taught me to include everyone and be nice to everyone, and I'm not saying I didn't have my moments or made mistakes, but for the most part, I treated everyone with kindness and a smile. Unfortunately, some parents didn't teach their children those values, or their children chose their own path and made their own decisions. Many a year, most of the class would get a Candy Gram, and I would be the sole person left out, same with cards, and invites or parties. I grew to fear and hate Valentine's Day just because I didn't like feeling left out or alone. I was left confused as to what made me different from my closest friends who were included in the gifts. I thought maybe High School would be different, and while our class was bigger, I didn't have to worry about the Candy Grams, nothing good really ever happened on Valentine's Day. I would come home in tears and my Mom would sit there and comfort me. I even had a boyfriend break up with me on Valentine's Day in college!
I've had a couple pleasant memories on Valentine's Day, flowers and thoughtful gifts from my awesome college boyfriend, surprises out here in LA from certain creative guys, and even a crush in College who remembered that I had said, 'The only good thing about Valentine's Day is the red and pink candy they sell,' and then on Valentine's Day he had a heart-shaped box filled with red and white candy, and was apologizing to me for not finding pink candy! Lots of tears that day, and I will never forget that moment :)
While I no longer hate Valentine's Day, it's too strong a word, I don't necessarily look forward to it either. Perhaps one day, I will have a reason to look forward to it! For now, I've got my Mom's thoughtfulness, with sending me flowers and candy on February 14th every year, and that's just fine with me!
I hear my sweet tooth calling and it's onto some red heart candy and sweet tarts hearts for me <3
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